when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just saw a hot homeless man
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
COCAINE IS GR8
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