This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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