in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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