do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
