Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
