Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
