first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
