i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Is that strawberry winking at me??
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
