i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
