I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
