Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
