Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
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