Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
