you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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