so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
