Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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