if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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