I love black thongs
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
