My nipple is on Facebook.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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