you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
