I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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