Don't make out with my wife yet
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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