How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You can't special order awesome
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
