someone threw a dead crab at me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
