She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
