It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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