I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize