Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
