omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
