Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
