Four minutes until I can fart!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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