No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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