Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
