if i can run in heels then i can drive
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
