from now on my penis is your penis
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
