my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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