wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
His nipple licking is glorious
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