great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
