there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
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Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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