it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
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