Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
