question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
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Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
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Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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