I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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