the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
