he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
