Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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