Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
