dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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