Porn is love you can see.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
