So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize