can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
