I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
