break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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