What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
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So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
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Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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