you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize