By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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