Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
