I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
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Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
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Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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