ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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