:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
