There was a lot of him and a little penis
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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