i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
