Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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